Exploring the Path of America’s Celestial Ballet

By Thomas L. Farris

In North America’s heartland, gathering flocks of birds spiritedly sing,
Before our majestic celestial dance debuts on April 8, 2024’s wing,
With over eight centuries now gone, new shadows are being cast,
Moving on high through America’s sky, the long-awaited spell is vast.


Texas and Oklahoma towns folk whisper in awe at twilight’s blush,
Anticipating the moon’s lingering brush with today’s cosmic rush,
The excited states, Arkansas and Missouri share the darkening scene,
The Earth’s sun and moon achieving perfect tandem, so serene.


In communities and farmlands, the historic drama gradually starts,
An emotional pause and cool aroma descend, moments ready to impart,
Through special glasses people focus on the darkened sky, ancient lore,
Revealing itself, as the expected daylight is briefly apparent no more.


As Illinois and Kentucky viewers ready themselves, murmurs in the air,
The brilliant sun now quietly surrenders, to an awesome ethereal affair,
Citizens throughout the eclipse pathway eagerly gaze to the sky,
Watching our new celestial ballet, as the sultry moon lurks on high.


Indiana now falls under the spell as our traveling eclipse unfolds,
Dramatic shadows dance, unveiling cosmic stories long untold,
Thirty-two generations have passed, as the cosmic clock resets,
A rare but true spectacle is seen, one hearts won’t soon forget.


In eerie, shocking quietude, as the planetary quest manifests,
America’s long-awaited total eclipse, again eternally blessed,
Ohio, then Pennsylvania watch the sun’s quiet, consistent retreat,
A well-choreographed universal drama, oh when will it repeat?


The heavens paint a fresh canvas, in hues bright to dark, then bright,
The moon’s delicate shadow blocks our expected solar light,
New York state’s conversations honor generations living long past,
A historic moment, again re-lived, our total eclipse exposed at last.


Over Vermont and New Hampshire, the crescent shadow’s sweep,
As in America’s mysterious dreams of the past, our eclipse does keep,
People all over Maine experience the gradually ever-darkening time,
With moon and sun converging in darkness, now perfectly aligned.

Born in Wabash, In, Thomas L. Farris / Word Artist, has lived in Muncie since 1962 – having starting a marketing consultancy and a research firm while in graduate school in 1967.  Inside and outside of his profession, Tom enjoyed writing and art.  His art has won numerous awards over the past 50 years.  During the past decade, he has devoted more time to studying poetry and writing – creating many works.  A goal with his work is painting pictures with words, so readers can better experience the work.  Recent works include four poems about the April 8, 2024 Total Eclipse.  His poetry addresses many topics, from humor and inspiration to grief, terminal illnesses and death.  Farris is also active as an artist, sculptor and photographer.  He spent many summers at Lake Wawasee.  His wife, also an artist, is from Hammond and Munster, IN.

America’s Total Eclipse

By Tom Farris

Throughout the American embrace, begins the lunar solar play,
A celestial dance unfolds in the afternoon of a memorable April day,
Many centuries have waned since our total eclipse drifted past,
In America’s sky, this dramatic and eerie spell is once again cast.


People filling cities, towns, streets, and parks in twilight’s holy hush,
As the moon interweaves its cosmic astronomically predicted brush,
Citizens of the world eagerly await, experiencing today’s sacred scene,
Where the galaxy’s sun and Earth’s moon, in tandem, do convene.


An emotional pause quietly descends, the skies darken to impart,
Being a viewer of this rarely seen eclipse, really inspires one’s heart,
Beneath the darkening sky, we recall learned ancient scientific lore,
The total eclipse slowly reveals itself as daylight is visible no more.


As the eclipse cuts a path through the U.S., from Texas to Maine,
A dramatic dance of everchanging shadows, the eclipse entertains,
Throughout the many centuries, the cosmic clock always resets,
A spectacle seldom seen, a vision each observer never forgets.


In the unearthly quietude of this rare but returning cosmic quest,
America’s long-awaited tale of a total eclipse is eternally blessed,
As viewers from around the world share the sun’s ombre retreat,
A celestial ballet is being keenly choreographed, rare and sweet.


The heaven’s paint a canvas, in gray hues bright to dark then bright,
In the moon’s crescent scattering shadows, softly bathed in lunar light,
As people whisper to recall the glorious ages of generations past,
A moment reclaimed, our April 8, 2024, eclipse revealed at last.


From southwest to northeast, artistic shadows continue their sweep,
With Americans wishing and hoping, the total eclipse does keep,
In Mother Nature’s emotion-emitting grasp, a cyclical celestial rhyme,
Echoes from the journals ancient, marking forever celestial time.

Born in Wabash, IN, Thomas L. Farris / Word Artist, has lived in Muncie since 1962 – having starting a marketing consultancy and a research firm while in graduate school in 1967.  Inside and outside of his profession, Tom enjoyed writing and art.  His art has won numerous awards over the past 50 years.  During the past decade, he has devoted more time to studying poetry and writing – creating many works.  A goal with his work is painting pictures with words, so readers can better experience the work.  Recent works include four poems about the April 8, 2024 Total Eclipse.  His poetry addresses many topics, from humor and inspiration to grief, terminal illnesses and death.  Farris is also active as an artist, sculptor and photographer.  He spent many summers at Lake Wawasee.  His wife, also an artist, is from Hammond and Munster, IN.

Indiana’s Total Eclipse

By Thomas L. Farris

In the heartland’s embrace, where wheatfields continually sway,

A celestial dance unfolds in the afternoon of a memorable April day,

Over eight centuries have waned since our eclipse drifted past,

In Indiana’s sky, this dramatic and eerie spell is once again cast.

People filling Hoosier avenues, streets, and parks in twilight’s hush,

As the moon’s shadow interweaves its cosmic predictable brush,

Citizens of the world eagerly experiencing today’s sacred scene,

Where the galaxy’s sun and Earth’s moon, in tandem, do convene.

An emotional pause descends, the skies darken a moment to impart,

Being a part of this rarely seen eclipse, really inspires one’s heart,

Beneath the darkened sky, we recall learned ancient scientific lore,

The total eclipse slowly reveals itself as daylight is visible no more.

From the southwest to the northeast, we witness this special eclipse,

A dramatic dance of everchanging shadows, a celestial ellipse,

Throughout the many centuries, the cosmic clock always resets,

A spectacle seldom seen, a lifetime vision, observers never forget.

In the unearthly quietude of this rare and returning cosmic quest,

Indiana’s long-awaited tale of a total eclipse is eternally blessed,

As viewers of all ages gather to share the sun’s ombre retreat,

A celestial ballet is being keenly choreographed, rare and sweet.

The heaven’s paint a canvas, in hues bright to dark then bright,

In the moon’s dancing crescent shadows, softly bathed in lunar light,

As people whisper to recall the glorious ages of generations past,

A moment reclaimed, our April 8, 2024, eclipse revealed at last.

From Vincennes up through Muncie, the heartland’s shadow sweeps,

Answering Hoosier wishing and hoping, the total eclipse keeps,

In Mother Nature’s emotion-emitting, a cyclical celestial rhyme,

Echoes from the journals ancient, marking forever celestial time.

Thomas L. Farris is a word artist from Muncie.

September 12, 2022

By James Croal Jackson

Contractors punched holes

in the blue ugly wall to

install ductless A/C. Is it

too early to call? The bluff

of all honest work, of

fields fluffed in green-gold,

green. Gold. This is

one of our most

expensive living

expenses. We have

been making them

a lot lately. I know

this does not

bode well for

my poor artist

soul, the growing

growling inside

that rebels against

every instinct

society calls

ok, society says

a lot of things

I do not listen to:

from the tall tree

falls the better

fruit. No, I grew

up with blueberry

bushels and ate

by the palmful–

now feeling awful,

looking back, that

more authentic life–

but what good is

nostalgia that ends

in the rememberer’s

angst? Back then, I

sang melodies in my

head. Today,

I forget the key.

James Croal Jackson is a Filipino-American poet who works in film production. His latest chapbooks are Count Seeds With Me (Ethel Zine & Micro-Press, 2022) and Our Past Leaves (Kelsay Books, 2021). Recent poems are in Stirring, Vilas Avenue, and *82 Review. He edits The Mantle Poetry from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (jamescroaljackson.com)

Headlines

By Jack D. Harvey

Gadabout God faces famous courtesan,

tits and all,

calls Moses a fraud, calls Jesus false

as the bloody cross he hung from;

tricks of the trade, snakes in the grass,

he calls them, all of them;

read all about it, it’s all here,

plain as day or the sparkling night.

Queens leave adultery to

their daughters instead of cold millions;

read all about it, read about

flames, arson, dying firemen,

flying bullets and

dead famous entertainers,

death coming to Disneyland

in a hoop-skirt;

lapidary hoopla, it’s all there,

bold as brass, stupid as paint,

creating coffins of words,

black and fleeting,

holding us briefly

and no more.

We ain’t talking about the good word,

boys and girls,

the gospels to come, to be told,

to be treasured;

just the daily bleating, the comings and goings,

the ratcheting of infamous feats,

retarded admirals and presidents

at home and abroad,

in big trouble, uh-oh,

stays of execution,

all kinds of sinners and whores

in the fields of earth and

at the end of the road, the end of now,

as we know it, a modest apocalypse.

Wow! And forget it.

God, sly as a fox and bold as a lion,

scales down his limitless circumference,

signaling from the sky,

comes down again, this time

harrowing not only hell,

but earth’s own sweet self,

not only boxing

the daily evangelists into oblivion,

but bringing to us all

His grace and terrible truth;

ripping out now with

the message of eternity;

none of it lasts, folks,

not a goddamned bit of it.   

 Editor’s note: This poem was previously published in Chambers and Zombie Logic Review

Jack D. Harvey’s poetry has appeared in The Comstock Review, Valparaiso Poetry Review, Northwest Indiana Literary Journal, Typishly Literary Magazine, The Antioch Review, The Piedmont Poetry Journal and elsewhere. The author has been a Pushcart nominee and over the years has been published in a few anthologies.

The Sparing of a Little Spider That Almost Failed

By Tom Probasco

Wiping up crumbs the same size

on the counter and around

the edge of the kitchen sink,

I knocked him in and nearly

washed him down.

While I tended to the table,

he ascended the enamel wall.

Then once again

I knocked him in,

watched him draw up into a ball.

He stretched out his legs and started back up

the side he’d already scaled.

With my finger I ensured his success.

I think of it as the sparing

of a little spider that almost failed.

Tom Probasco has had poems published in the Northwest Indiana Literary Journal, the INverse Poetry Archive, and in several Indiana Writers Center publications, including Flying Island.  In addition to writing the occasional poem, he plays harmonica in the Indianapolis band True North.

The Cybernetic Lullaby 

by Nolo Segundo  

Part I 

They sing softly to us at 

every click of the mouse—

Use me, I’m here for you,

only you, in the entire 

Universe will I serve….

And we lay enraptured 

as they bring us the world,

knowledge the wise men

of history never had, and

ease, lots of ease to save 

us time and trouble. Soon 

we cannot live without them,

the thought of it too mean.

Without them we would loose 

touch with our friends, jobs.

Even our money might wander 

if we cannot watch it daily.

However did our ancestors 

survive without an i-Phone?

Part II

I read on my laptop today—

Automation is making us dumber,

ineffective, maybe even impotent.

Perhaps it’s a conspiracy by that secret

society, the computer brotherhood.

(Do you really believe your Apple is 

innocent and IBM is not plotting?)

Or maybe we should just blame

human sloth, that siren call of 

sheer damn laziness which can 

lure the best of us to a quiet doom.

A simple proof: hand a twenty to a clerk

and ask him to make change without

looking to the machine for succor.

That blank, innocent look he gives you—

“Why me?”,  he seems to be saying, 

And you can’t help but pity him a bit. 

He is, after all, a victim of mass education.

There are worse victims: 

airliners wildly crashing,

doctors killing their patients,

nuclear power plants going

BOOM! And killing the land

for an eon or two, or three.

How like little children we were!

thinking these machines would

be our slaves, sans the brutality. 

But it is we who are chained by 

the zeros and ones, we who are

thinking less, creating cheaper, 

settling into a cybernetic fog.

Part III:

When Androids Dream

When we finally build them

(and it will not be long)

will androids finally lead us

all to nirvana, a world of peace, 

leisure, and endless wealth?

Could any hell be worse?

for that day will be when 

we lose purpose, and soon

perhaps the very will to live.

When the androids dream

(and they will dream, 

because we will make them 

to be like us, for we have 

always been a vain species),

will they not dream of sky

and soaring free of the land,

free of the weak, sad humans

they serve without accordance?

Then, when these humanface 

machines begin dreaming in 

daylight, they will see no need

for their progenitors, and those 

of us left living as shells sans

struggle or pain or conflict, in

an existence sooo boring, will

doubtless welcome our end.

Nolo Segundo, pen name of retired teacher L.j. Carber, who in his 8th decade when he should have been comparison shopping for a rocking chair on Amazon instead began writing poetry again after a 40 year hiatus [don’t ask]. He started sending out his wayward children to a few million lit mags and in 6 years he has been published in over 150 literary journals/anthologies in 12 countries (including India, Hungary and Turkey!–go figure). To top it off, a trade publisher has released 3 books: The Enormity of Existence; Of Ether and Earth; and Soul Songs. Now if only the big bucks would roll in….

Redbuds

By Ace Boggess

Why are they called redbuds

when they’re sort of purple, I ask,

as I do every year when I see them

highlighting hills along the highway

like thousands of painted lips puckering—

not the bright, blinding boldness

of red lips in the Rolling Stones logo,

or after a one-night stand, the red

of a lipstick kiss on the bathroom mirror,

not even the overly-red red

smeared across a drag queen’s mouth

when the show ends, the last song

played, final dollar paid for a kiss.

More a mauve or mulberry

like it was meant to be red

but someone forgot to adjust

the tint & brightness on an old TV.

Why do I ask this every year?

I’ve never gotten an answer.

I like to think there is no answer,

that it’s one of those mysteries

like how I smack the back of my foot

on a door when I’m moving forward.

There has to be an answer.

I could look it up on Google

or Wikipedia, type in the search bar,

Why are they called redbuds

when they’re sort of purple? &

then Google or Wikipedia would tell me,

ruining the magic of what I see

speckled amidst such green,

a masterwork I lack words to describe

aside from this question

meant more for my benefit

than as a search for truth.

Ace Boggess is author of six books of poetry, most recently Escape Envy. His writing has appeared in Michigan Quarterly Review, Notre Dame Review, Harvard Review, Mid-American Review, and other journals. An ex-con, he lives in Charleston, West Virginia, where he writes and tries to stay out of trouble. His seventh collection, Tell Us How to Live, is forthcoming in 2024 from Fernwood Press.

The Flagger

By Paul Smith

I’ve had lots of flaggers. Not in the Biblical sense. They just worked for me. Red George did, though, and that led to problems for him and her. Flaggers are like laborers. They’re in the same union. Flaggers make a tad less. The work is not hard, but it can be dangerous with all the loony drivers we have around here. And flaggers are usually minorities, women minorities. A woman minority hire is what we call a ‘two-fer’, she counts twice in the minority hiring records contractors have to keep. So I’ve seen quite a few. On Biesterfield and its new ramps to I290 we had the Austin sisters. They were two-fers, both a little stocky, but authoritative. The Austins knew how to flag.

There is a right way and a wrong way to flag traffic around construction work. Say you have one-way traffic with one side stopping and the other going and then switching. The flaggers work in unison. The first thing a flagger must do is make eye contact with the driver she is stopping. Shy flaggers never cut it. After she makes eye contact the flagger must wiggle the stop paddle back and forth to further get the driver’s attention. Finally she uses her other hand palm down like she’s petting a dog and brings it down low to further emphasize that the driver must slow down and stop. That is the right way.

The wrong way is anything other than that.

I’ve had many flaggers. Besides the Austin sisters, we get what we call ‘political prisoners’ – folks who know Car 1 and just got out of jail. Some of these characters don’t know squat but they know something more important – Car 1. So they have a job waiting for them when they get out of the pen. They usually last a day or two. Another kind of political prisoner was the cute looking gal in Lululemons driving a Mustang convertible when I ran the North-South Tollway  project in Woodridge. She didn’t even bring a stop paddle and I had to show her what to do. She was acquainted with Car 7, Car 1’s son. She lasted a day as well.

But there are others who have made a life of this – desperate, poorly educated gals struggling (usually all alone) trying to get through life and with kids. And this is a lousy way of making a living, crummy to begin with, and compounded into further dreariness by the way road contractors use their people. Just about everyone, labors, operators, truck drivers, some mechanics, have to call Dispatch every morning to see where they go. Car 8 (Car 7’s brother) writes up a new line-up every day to keep all his favorites working. Some days lots of people get re-routed to a job different than the day before. Sometimes they call in and don’t get sent anywhere. I don’t do this being a superintendent. For the others, it stinks.

The one flagger who really stood out was Josephina, who not only lived in Lawndale, not only had two kids, but also had no car, and she would take public transportation to jobs all over the city. I met her at Touhy & Wolf, leaning against my trailer at six in the morning.

“You did what?” I asked.

“Took Metra, then a couple of buses,” she said eagerly. “I can’t be late.”

Josephina was tall, wiry, wearing Carhartts even though it was July, an orange safety vest, and she brought her own STOP paddle. She was serious.

“You take buses and trains to these jobs?” I asked.

“Yeah. Rohlwing Road, Elmhurst, Dan Ryan, Eisenhower – I get around.”

From that point on I refused to think that anything about my job was difficult.

“How come no car?”

“It’s a long story,” she said, smiling. “And I have a favor.”

“What?” We’d just met.

“Ask for me tomorrow, so I know I’ll come back here. I like you.”

We’d just met. “Dispatch will send you to wherever. I have no say.”

“Please, will you try? I know how it is. If you put in a good word for me, I’d appreciate it. Nobody else has, so far.”

Josephina was dark, blacker than Kevin Garnett. When I looked at her, there were two tiny white eyes staring back at me. The rest of her reminded me of Heart Of Darkness. I did not know Josephina, but I felt I could trace her history back to West Africa, across the Atlantic, to a plantation down South, to the tenements and false hope of Chicago to Touhy & Wolf here in Des Plaines, standing before me with her own STOP paddle as the July morning began to suffocate us.

I watched her that morning. Toby and Al and I were busy grading a right-turn lane and she was in front of us, waving people onto the left side of a lane of barricades. This wasn’t where two flaggers worked together, just her and an arrow board and the RCA’s. She was fearless. One guy tried to cut around her and she stepped right in front of him and banged his hood with her paddle. After that she wagged her finger. Dikembe Mutombo would have been proud.

After our shift she asked, “Well, do I come back?” We needed someone the next day.

“I’ll see what I can do,” I said.

She made some severe eye contact and nodded. On my way home she was walking east on Touhy as I made my way home driving. I slowed down in the semi-heavy rush hour traffic. I rolled down my window. “You want a ride?” I yelled.

She just waved me off and kept walking, not even looking. She knew it was me.

Later I talked to Lombardo in Dispatch. “You want that bitch back?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll see what Car 8 says. You know who she is, right?”

“No.”

“Gotta go!”

So she was someone. Who among the operators, laborers and truck drivers was actually Someone? There weren’t many in this huge faceless mob that built and rebuilt our roads. There was teamster Joe Rago, who had a ‘jumper’ jump in front of his semi at Highland Avenue. Death by dump truck. Larry Mariani was Someone because every Christmas he produced home-made Chianti for Car 5’s holiday party. The mechanic known as ‘Irish’ was famous for his reply over the radio to Sammy 3 when asked what piece of equipment he was working on around noon – ‘Well, Sammay, right now I’m working on a ham sammich.’ Those were Somebodies. I would have liked to be a Somebody.

Who was she?

She came back the next day. At the end of our shift, she asked. “Can I come back here tomorrow?” We did need someone.

“I’ll try,” I said.

“When you try, you get it done. I like you.” She took off walking. Twenty minutes later as I drove home on Touhy, I saw her making her way to a PACE bus stop. I didn’t bother waving.

“OK,” I asked Lombardo, “Who is she?”

A moment of silence prevailed. “You remember Red George, right?”

“Sure, my old boss.”

“And you remember the problem he had?”

Red George had had a flagger problem working on I-290. Because he lived in Johnsburg and the days were long, the Company got him a motel room in Elmhurst, miles closer to his job. The rest is history. Thomas Jefferson had that kind of problem, but at his time there was no EEO, no minority requirements, no Affirmative Action. Things were simpler.

“So she’s the one. Lawsuit, everything. What’s she doing back here?”

“Union sent her. We could lay her off.”

“And?”

“And I told Car 8, who said we have to be very careful. We means you, get it?’

I thought a minute.

“Get it? Or do I have Car 8 talk to you?”

“Got it.”

She was late the next day, showing up at eight o’clock. I had Al flag for me and Toby. Al could flag, use the shovel and string line all at once. He was invaluable. For me, he was a Someone. So was Toby. Once you get established, the rules eased up a bit. Toby and Al were mine.

“What’s up?” I asked when she appeared. She wasn’t exactly running down Wolf Road, but it was close.

“METRA train had an accident,” she breathed. “Things were all messed up..” She was still wearing her Carhartts and the sun was up. The sweat was from the heat or nervousness. She had her paddle.

“Go take over for Al,” We got back to grading our turn lane.

There is a double standard here. We like to brag about how the truth is our friend, etc. etc., because we are so important and have this awesome responsibility that we cannot tell lies because we are building our country’s roads, which requires coordination and truthfulness and putting our fate in the hands of others around us, so we cannot lie about how many laborers or trucks we need, when we think we will finish our task so the next crew can start, how hard it’s raining where we are at because even though we don’t want to call off work due to weather, if we screw up and call out everyone and there’s a downpour, we’re stuck with all these bodies and their darned show-up time. So the truth matters, he said importantly. But, in a bind, we lie.

And being not just a standard-bearer for truth, but also one of its most ardent seekers, I consulted the news that evening, scouring the TV stations and even stopping to get a late newspaper, where there was no mention of a METRA accident.

So the next day I asked Josephina, “What about this METRA train accident? Not on the news, Josephina.”

Her eyes turned away from mine. “There was no accident. My daughter was feeling sick so I took her to my cousin’s place in Auburn-Gresham. I missed my train.” She looked at her feet.

“You have to level with me. With everyone!”

She would not look up. “I was on time today.”

“Yes. I know.”

The next week was very hectic. We had to put a deep sewer line across the intersection of Touhy & Wolf. It meant laying the pipe halfway across Touhy and then putting fill on it, compacting the fill, then asphalt, then rerouting traffic on that and doing the other half of Touhy the same way. We were fully interacting with traffic. It had to be tightly coordinated and truthful. My chest went all the way out. We got a second flagger named Denise. A worldly-wise gal with an authoritative left hand and a chip on her shoulder. I liked her immediately.

At noon, Denise asked me, “You know who she is, right?”

“I know.”

“You best be careful, boss.” A car tried to sneak by. “Hey, asshole, I said STOP!”

Bang!

He stopped.

When the day was over everyone gathered at the trailer for a few beers, something prohibited but done all the time whenever a big task was accomplished. We had buried three hundred feet of ten foot diameter concrete pipe through heavy traffic, put down temporary asphalt so traffic would run on top of it, all in twelve hours. All of us, the sewer crew, the blade guy, Toby and Al, the flaggers all had a few and nearly threw our shoulders out patting ourselves on the back. Then we headed home.

It was like old times the next day. No Josephine at seven o’clock. Her paddle sat in the trailer. There was no other flagger today. I grabbed it and went out to Touhy to work on pavement removal. We had one lane shut down with an arrow board. Trucks would be coming and going and needed a flagger to help them get in and out of traffic. Right now I was the flagger. I thought about calling Dispatch and asking for a backup, but waited.

We had a huge backhoe ripping out pavement on Westbound Touhy now that the sewer line was in. Not only did the hoe have guts, but it was turbocharged and was prone to huge plumes of black smoke when the operator really ripped into the pavement and got a bucketful. So I hesitate to say the smoke distracted me, but the smoke distracted me and so did the back and forth between our operator Luigi and whatever truck driver parked under his bucket. Luigi was like most of us, not in favor of too many instructions, especially from truck drivers who wanted to ‘help’ him as Luigi loaded their trucks. They would climb up alongside the trailer and try to spot each bucket for Luigi, since an overloaded truck could result in overload tickets and possible time off. So, yes, fucking right I was distracted, distracted enough so that I was looking the wrong way when a car wheeled around me and slammed into a truck pulling out as smoke plumed into the early morning air along with shouts of “Hey dumb asshole’ from Luigi’s Sicilian mouth as I hoped the dumb asshole part was directed at the truck driver or the car but certainly not me.

And when Des Plaines police showed up, I was the flagger of record.

But of course I was not because I lied.

“Who, then?” the policeman we knew as Shiny Shoes asked.

“Her name is Josephine.”

“Where is Josephine?”

“She’s distraught. I’ll get her.” And I went to the trailer, where of course she was not, and then came back.

“No big deal,” said Shiny Shoes. “Just sign here. Your problem, not mine.”

It was my problem. Josephine showed up around eight.

“Well?” I asked. The heat under my collar built up just like the traffic on Touhy.  

The one thing about lying is that you have to do it in a way that resembles the truth. I have a theory about lying that goes like this: Good liars know how to lie and don’t get caught. They acquire the reputation of honest men. Honest men are sometimes caught with their pants down and have to make up stuff at a moment’s notice and are not good at it. They get to be known as liars. One should remember to ‘get your stories’ straight’ when more than one person is involved in misinformation.

I forgot that part.

“METRA was late this time. Really! They were.” She took the paddle from me and hugged it to her chest. There was another cough of black smoke from our huge Koehring backhoe and the undercurrent of Luigi hurling Mediterranean insults at the truck driver beneath his bucket.

“Go,” I said. She could have the stupid paddle.

A day later I had a meeting with Car 8. It was Friday. It was my first Friday meeting at Hillside and I’d been there six years. Something was up. When I drove my Company pickup there, Josephina was waiting in the parking lot. When she saw me, her face sort of dropped.

“I get it now,” she said. “Seeing car 8?”

I nodded. We went in through the shop/garage, past Sammy 3’s domain of motor fluids – recycled engine oil, ATF, brake fluid, steering fluid. Tires were everywhere in stacks. Air wrenches hammered. Somewhere in back Sammy 3 could be heard, yelling. Josephina and I mounted the wooden steps up to the main building, passed Linda’s office and went into where Car 8 waited. He had a wood-paneled office with wood blinds on the windows. The late afternoon sun created a very peaceful environment, almost as if its occupant had nothing to do with pavement getting torn apart, trucks squealing their brakes, motorists cursing us. Plus, it was air-conditioned past the point of refreshment. It was just plain cold. Car 8 drove a Crown Vic. I was in it once. Its air conditioner was turned way down just like his office.

He sat behind a massive wood desk. “You know what this is about, right?” Car 8 had a youthful, earnest face that belied the fact he’d been in the field for ten years running his father’s projects. He was all business, and waited for someone to speak.

“It’s about that accident.”

“To begin with, yes,” he nodded. “What the hell happened?”

“I wasn’t there,” Josephina said. “No matter what any stupid paper says, I was not there.”

Car 8 looked at me. “You said she was flagging. Why weren’t you there, Jo?”

“I was late. My daughter was sick.”

Back to me. “I was trying to cover for her.”

“You was not. You jest couldn’t flag, that’s all.”

Car 8’s head swiveled from her to me. “You two should have at least got your stories straight.” He looked straight ahead at Josephine. “We can’t keep you, Jo. You were late twice.”

Then he looked at me. “Can’t keep you, either. You should have fired her the first time she didn’t show up. We do thank you for your service, though. Keys?”

That was it. I turned in my truck keys and went out to the garage where one of Sammy 3’s flunkies waited, slouching against a dusty pile of truck tires. He nodded when he saw me.

Josephina and I stepped out of the shadows and din of the garage as the sun blazed. “This ain’t so bad,” she said. “I can take the 305 on Roosevelt to Pulaski, then the 53A south. It ain’t bad.’ She turned to me and made eye contact the first time this afternoon. “You can take the 307 on Harlem to North Avenue. After that, I don’t know. I know you live somewhere North. I seen you twice going east on Touhy.”

I nodded to Sammy 3’s apprentice mechanic back in the semi-darkness of the garage and he walked my way. He was my ride home.

“Good-bye, Jo,” I said.

“Good-bye,” she said. “I liked you to begin with, but then, you changed.” She turned her back to me and started hoofing it to Roosevelt Road.

Josephina, who once liked me, who listened to me, had remembered to do the one thing I told her to do, the one thing that had nothing to do with flagging, and everything to do with everything else. She told the truth. She told the truth after changing her tardiness tale from METRA to her sick daughter, if that’s what actually happened. She said in spite of what anybody else might say, in spite of what the Des Plaines police report said, she had not been there for the accident with the black smoke, the turbocharged Koehring 1066 backhoe, with Luigi waving and cursing, with me holding a stop paddle looking the wrong way. And, on the second try, I also spoke the truth.

Some wise guy once said the truth will set you free. Another wise guy had theories about what the truth was and wasn’t. Philosophers go into detail.

I have never heard of an out-of-work philosopher. I was not going to be a Somebody. I never was.

Paul Smith is a civil engineer who has worked in the construction racket for many years. He has traveled all over the place and met lots of people. Some have enriched his life. Others made him wish he or they were all dead. He likes writing poetry and fiction. He also likes Newcastle Brown Ale. If you see him, buy him one. His poetry and fiction have been published in Convergence, Missouri Review, Literary Orphans and other lit mags.

In Hoosier Country

By Ron McFarland

For Mark Toppe

Brock was thirteen when his mother left his stepfather Jerry Bates and Bloomington, Indiana, to return to her hometown, Spokane. She did not wish to poison her children’s memories of their stepfather, she explained, so the less she said of him the better. As it happened, neither Brock nor his older sister Meg expressed much curiosity about their stepfather over the years. Buoyed by a softball scholarship, Meg had been in her first year at Indiana State in Terre Haute when the marriage collapsed. Brock had just failed to make the junior high basketball team, and basketball was everything in Hoosier Country.

“Jesus Christopher,” Jerry swore one night when he thought Brock was asleep, “what’s the kid good at anyway?” He’d almost said “good for,” but he didn’t. He and Melanie had no children of their own after eight years together. Jerry Bates never wanted to be Brock’s “Dad.”

“Tennis,” his mother said quietly, “he’s really good at tennis.”

“He didn’t try, he didn’t work at it, Mel! Kid across the street, he’s out shooting baskets day and night seven days a week. I seen him shooting in the snow one day last winter. He’ll sure as hell make the team next year.”

“Saw,” Melanie wanted to correct but did not, “saw him shooting baskets.”

They’d met at IU, where Melanie was studying music (piano) and Jerry was majoring in business. She never said how she’d met Jerry Bates or why exactly they had married. “I guess I just needed someone,” she said. Now she was dead of breast cancer, and Brock felt, at age 23, suddenly bereft and adrift, too young to be orphaned.

“I’m so sorry,” his mother had said when they left Bloomington ten years back.

“For what?” Meg snapped. “Jerry was never there for us. I don’t think he went to more than one of my games when I was in high school, and I’ll bet he never caught any of Brock’s AAU basketball games either. Let alone his tennis matches.”

Angry at leaving all his friends behind, young Brock at first sulked and raged, but he made friends easily, and within a few months he’d acquired new ones. And while he’d been a B-team AAU basketballer in Bloomington, he made high school varsity in Spokane and got serious about tennis, which became his game. Moreover, recalling what Meg said that day, he knew she was right. Their stepfather had rarely spent time with them, quality or otherwise.

So, Brock came of age without a father, without a “male role model,” and his mother worried about that but refused to marry again and would not expose him to any “special man friend.” She was beautiful, and men were attracted to her—colleagues at the high school where she taught music, fellow actors in community theater, parishioners at First Presbyterian where she played piano and organ—but she resisted their overtures. Even after Brock went away to college, a small liberal arts school in Ohio, which he attended on a tennis ride, she remained steadfastly single. When her cancer returned, Brock was in his first year at the Spokane Chronicle, covering odds and ends, traffic accidents in the Valley, tennis tournaments, road work and traffic diversions in the South Hill—whatever more experienced reporters shrugged off.

He was there for his mother in her last days, and Meg came up from Denver, where she was working for a computer software firm and enjoying prosperity, her husband, and two kids. Their mother made them promise not to contact their stepfather after she died. Jerry was out of their lives, she said, for good. But Jerry learned about her death from Indiana friends she’d kept in touch with over the years, and when he came to the funeral, he convinced Brock to come out to IU and pursue a master’s in journalism. Brock could spend a year establishing residency, and Jerry would take care of everything. He promised.

They’d met only once since the divorce, surreptitiously, when his stepfather showed up at New Concord out of the blue during the fall break of Brock’s sophomore year. It had proven an awkward three days highlighted by Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday in Zanesville—beer and pizza at The Barn. They watched an Ohio State game. Jerry had started off at Ohio State and was an avid Buckeyes fan, and the Buckeyes won big, and although Brock had no interest in football, he appreciated the distraction. Whatever agenda his stepfather might have had during that unannounced visit never manifested itself. How was his mother doing? She was fine. End of that topic of conversation. How was he doing at Muskingum? What was he majoring in? He was doing fine, majoring in English. Brock phoned Meg about the visit, and she agreed they shouldn’t mention it to their mother.

Brock remembered his stepfather indulging a couple too many at The Barn, but it went okay. They spent a day driving to Columbus, so Jerry could reminisce and point out his fraternity house, and the next day they crossed the river into West Virginia, where they grabbed dinner at the Wheeling Brewing House, after which his stepfather said maybe Brock should drive them back to campus. They shook hands and that was it until the funeral in Spokane.

So now here he was in Bloomington, where his stepfather worked for the city’s finance office, and he was staying at Jerry’s place for a year to establish residency—Jerry had never been “Dad”—and he’d picked up a job with the local paper, thanks to an editor at the Chronicle. Mostly, Brock covered the police blotter, which was great compared with what he was doing in Spokane, where he was everywhere. Two more experienced reporters at the Times-Courier took the best leads, but this mid-July afternoon Vance was on vacation and Tanya was across town covering a break-in at the university’s music school. An instrument belonging to a renowned cellist had been stolen and a ransom note left behind—the kind of juicy story anyone would jump on, especially in the heat and heavy humidity that day, when you felt it should rain but it wouldn’t, and you’d be sweltering all afternoon.

What his stepfather promised, in so many words, before Brock left Spokane was free room-and-board, use of either the old Ford pickup or the newish Tempo, and distance. Jerry would not impose. Brock would occupy his own space. He was an adult, after all. They would sustain both literal and esthetic distance—no questions asked—but sure, his stepfather would appreciate having him around after all these years. Jerry wouldn’t admit to being lonely, but sure, it would be good to renew their acquaintance. And it wasn’t the house haunted by memories of Brock’s Indiana boyhood. His stepfather had gotten that in the settlement, but he couldn’t live in it. He’d built that house for Brock’s mother, he said, and “fond memories” haunted the place. He’d sold it for less than it was worth.

This other place had the advantage of being right in town. Brock’s mother had designed the haunted place herself and considered it an advantage that it was not located right in town.

 Unfortunately, the pickup, which had been bright red in 1970 but had faded to a pallid rose in the past quarter century, broke down within two weeks of Brock’s advent to Bloomington that spring, and his stepfather needed the Tempo at work. Brock could use Meg’s old bike. Bloomington was, Jerry proclaimed, the quintessential biking city—Brock had seen Breaking Away, hadn’t he?

About a million times, Brock said—it had been his mother’s all-time favorite movie. She’d swum at the quarry shown in that film dozens of times when she wasn’t practicing piano, had dived from that very spot, had dated a cutter before she met Jerry. Brock’s favorite Indiana flick was The Hoosiers. 1986. Gene Hackman.He’d grown up on legends and myths of the Hoosiers and Bob Knight. “I met him once at a party,” his mother said. “I went to lots of games before I met your stepfather,” she said. “Your father loved the game, but your stepfather didn’t care for it, and he hated Bob Knight.”

So, as he had been doing for the past month, Brock was riding Meg’s pink bicycle to the Times-Courier office the day of the bank robbery. It was a three-speed, still in good shape once he replaced the tires. The second time he rode it to the office Brock found it at the day’s end adorned with a large pink bow, most likely Vance’s gesture, but maybe the work of one of the sportswriters, a quondam local high school football hero named Jeff. In all fairness to the bicycle, it was gendered neutral—not distinctly a “girl’s bike,” but not really a “boy’s bike” either. Perhaps androgynous.

Fortunately, no 23-year-old American male in mid-July 1995 possessed a more confident sense of his masculinity than did Brock Lee Leonard.  “Brock” had been his father’s choice; his mother had wanted “Lee,” her maiden name, and they’d argued all the way to the baptismal font, where they compromised on “Brock Lee.” His mother loved that story. Brock conceived an understandable dislike for broccoli, and by the time he entered high school he had diminished his middle name to “L” with his mother’s reluctant approval.

Not even the new proofreader, Amy, with whom he’d promptly been smitten, knew what the L stood for. Blue-eyed Amy held a freshly minted degree in elementary ed from Butler, but in the process of student teaching had come to realize the classroom did not fit her. An uncle landed her the job at the Times-Courier. Within two weeks she was reciprocally infatuated with Brock, which eased his return to Indiana.

His major achievement during his brief tenure with the paper had been to convert the bland notices of misdemeanors drawn from police blotters into witty bits that garnered him grudging praise but no byline. Example: “An elderly woman from Ellettsville turned herself in at the sheriff’s office for cruelty to animals. Kicked her cat Boots when it darted underfoot. Boots, however, failed to press charges.” Example: “Clear Creek resident reported ‘suspicious man wearing hoodie’ making ‘loud, obnoxious noises’ after 8:00 p.m. in the town park. Authorities determined the gentleman was practicing his anthem for Sunday services at the Baptist church. Miscreant advised to limit his joyful noise to privacy of his own shower.”

Brock left the pink bike unlocked in front of the news office as usual the day of the bank robbery, nurturing some vague hope it might be stolen, not because he doubted his masculinity for an instant, but at least partly because every male who worked at the paper had been twitting him about the thing for more than a month. For his dates with Amy, he was reduced to begging the use of his stepfather’s Tempo (Jerry proved grudging) or hitch a ride with Amy in her ’84 Audi. He planned to buy a can of red spray paint. Soon.

Bill Peters, the news editor and not an admirer of “Brock’s Bloomington Blotter,” met him at the door. “Old National’s been hit! May still be in progress. Get on it, Brock. Now’s your big chance.”

Just like that. His first shot at a byline. He offers a silly grin to Amy as Bill Peters barks at him to get his ass into gear. Vance is fishing in Minnesota and Tanya’s at the U covering the missing cello, so Brock L. Leonard is going to take the lead on this breaking story, and chances are he’ll get there if he humps it on his pink bike before the network crews arrive from Indianapolis fifty miles north. First genuine byline. Maybe. He hops on his bike—Meg’s bike—bank’s just a few blocks away.

 It occurs to Brock he might ditch the pink bicycle instead of riding it directly onto the scene, which turns out to be a crime almost in progress. He’s missed the action by maybe fifteen minutes. The police lieutenant and detective in charge recognize him before he can recall their names or catch sight of their IDs: MacGregor and Arcidiacono. Mac and Archie. “Nice bike,” Arcidiacono gibes. He’s short and stubby, sports the kind of whiskers on his round, dark face that signify five o’clock shadow only minutes after he shaves. Hollywood heartthrobs like Don Johnson in Miami Vice could get away with that sort of beard, Brock Leonard not, and obviously not Detective Arcidiacono either. He’s Sicilian a couple generations back.

Thanks to a fiction writing course he took at Muskingum (he got a B), Brock finds himself roughing out a character sketch wherein the “portly detective” would be hooked on grappa (intelligence acquired from reading Hemingway) and “saddled” (that was the right dead metaphor here) with a voluptuous bitch of a wife about half his age (“bitch with handles,” per Papa Hem).

“Sure, kid, you’ll be the first to know,” the lieutenant says. Has Brock uttered the request to be left in the loop? He has not.

“Thanks?”

“By the way, cute bike. My eight-year-old daughter’s got one just like it.”

So how might he feature Lieutenant MacGregor in that story or novel he will never write? Almost handsome, almost suave, almost debonair, almost Cary Grant (his mother’s favorite actor), but none of the above. No, for all his easy good looks, Mac will come off as a jerk, abusive to his wife, a philanderer, mean to his kids, a hypocritical churchgoer of some ilk, a Rotarian gone to the dark side. He won’t attend his kids’ afterschool activities. He’ll come to no good end. Not unlike Brock’s fiction, probably, and if he doesn’t get himself back on track, ditto for his career in journalism. “What do you have so far?”

The detective sums it up: “Two perps, Caucasian, five-eight or so, black hoodies, sunglasses, blue jeans—could be brothers. Came in right after the bank opened, claimed they had guns, handed over a note and a plastic Kroger’s bag, got away with . . . say ‘an undisclosed amount,’ okay?” No footage yet from the surveillance cams.

“That’s all?”

“That’s all for now,” the lieutenant snaps. He reaches over and rings the chrome bicycle bell a couple of times. Shakes his head. Snorts. “Nice,” he says.

“Looks like a small silver SUV of some sort was waiting for them up the street,” Archie adds, his round face glistening with sweat. “No one caught the make or plates.”

Brock jots down the notes, adds some routine details—how long the officers have been with the department, when was the last time a bank was hit here in Bloomington, have there been other holdups in the area lately? Nope. Indianapolis? No such luck.

What he needs is a crocodile, as his CW prof once told the class: “When in doubt, throw in a crocodile.” Would it be okay if he spoke with the teller? Not right now, he’s told, not till after they have another chat with her, and no, they won’t release her name at this point-in-time. She’s new on the job and pretty shaken up. He can write that if he wants to. And no, he cannot go inside the bank or even look in the door—it’s “a raw crime scene.” Brock figures he can use that phrase, “raw crime scene,” and maybe the bag from Kroger’s, but that looks to be about it. His scoop is running on bland. By this time a sizable crowd of rubberneckers has accumulated.

“So that’s it?”

“Come down to the station after lunch,” the detective says. “Maybe we can let you see what we get from the surveillance tapes.”

“Not likely,” Mac says with a note of reprimand in his voice. “But you can check. Like your bike.” He winks.

Then the TV news crews roll up, and Brock’s moment in the glaring sun ends. He’s tempted to hang around and see how it goes down, but he can catch it “Live at Five.” He’s not into broadcast journalism, even though he knows it’s the future and is tempted by the lure of better paychecks. Amy is very much attracted. “I could be a weather-girl,” she’s declared, more than half seriously.

“So, what do you know about meteorology and climatology?”

“Nothing. I’d learn on the job.”

Brock huffed at that, and they argued. The next time he asked her out, she was busy. They did go out again, but Amy had cooled. That happened ten days ago, and it struck him that when he grinned at her this morning before Peters sent him out to cover the bank heist, she hadn’t smiled, only lifted her chin in response. Well, he’d been stupid, and then he’d been too insensitive to see that he should’ve apologized. He would do that. He would take care of that, but first he must get back to his desk and work on this story.

But before he does that, he’ll have to locate the pink bicycle, which he knows he left leaning against the alley by the Old National Bank. It’s gone now, definitively gone. He pulls away from the mob of gawkers, half expecting to see an eight-year-old girl pedaling furiously down Walnut.

Nothing.

By the time he gets back to the Times-Courier, Brock’s polo is soaked—wrong day to have worn the light blue one. The dark blue polo would’ve been the better choice. He looks, but Amy’s not at her desk and neither is Bill Peters. In fact, hardly anyone’s there in the newsroom, which means a conference must be going on somewhere.

It is.

Tanya has returned from the IU music school with news that the mystery of the kidnapped cello has been solved. A disgruntled grad student from India swiped it. He had been denied a fellowship he believed he’d been promised, and there were problems with his student visa. Amrinder blames the visiting professor, an Italian woman he claims is prejudiced against Indian males, and he insists the ransom note was a joke and not to be taken seriously. It was his way of satire, he says. The professor, he argues, obviously does not comprehend irony.

Bill and Amy inform Brock about this midway through his struggle with the second paragraph of his would-be scoop on the bank robbery, which brief paragraph he has refabricated five times. It will not behave.

Bill Peters follows Amy to her desk, places his hand on the back of her chair, lowers his head to hers, and says something Brock is confident has nothing to do with proofreading. They both giggle, and when Bill turns back to his office, Amy’s nice blue eyes pursue him. Brock almost doesn’t notice.

Brock thinks of Hemingway’s dispatches from 1930s Spain for the North American Newspaper Alliance. “At the front, a mile and a quarter away, the noise came as a heavy coughing grunt from the green pine-studded hillside opposite.” Well, you couldn’t get away with that kind of writing for the Times-Courier in present-day Indiana, particularly if you were Brock L. Leonard instead of Ernest M. Hemingway. Or this: “We lay on top of a ridge with a line of Spanish infantry under heavy machine gun and rifle fire.” Of course, first you had to be under fire, or at least you had to have been under fire. Or maybe this: “The irrigation ditch was full of this year’s crop of frogs. As you splashed forward, they scattered, jumping wildly.” Well, the setting for the matter at hand featured the hot pavement outside the Old National Bank of Bloomington, no heavy artillery in the distance, no infantry or machine guns, no jittery frogs.

Brock plods ahead, his touch heavy on the keyboard, ponderous, certain the next day’s front-page story will involve a stolen cello and a distraught graduate student from New Delhi. At two-thirty he heads on foot for the police station on Third, sustained by vague hopes of a break in the case. Vance is due back in two days, and if nothing fortuitous happens before that, the story will become his, along with the byline. Brock considers the adjective “fortuitous” and deletes it mentally before any such academic adjective can influence his writeup of the bank job.

Detective Arcidiacono runs the surveillance tape for him, but they can distinguish only blurry details. “Old camera,” Archie says, “and they must not ’ve cleaned the lens in years.” No clear facial features emerge from the black hoods and sunglasses. Two white noses appear, but even the lips are indistinct. Brock suggests neither of the robbers seems to be wielding actual weapons inside the pockets of their hoodies, and the detective agrees, “Probably not. Pretty gutsy . . . or pretty stupid. Someone’ll recognize ’em.” He sounds unconvinced by his own optimism. Departmental policy, Brock suspects: Be positive, especially where the press is concerned.

“Sooner or later,” Brock says.

“Yeah,” the detective mutters. “You bet.”

On his way back to the office, Brock creates headlines for his Section B story: “Two Hoods Knock Over Old National.” Maybe a subheading: “Daring Daylight Heist.” “Hooded Duo Holds Up ONB.” Or should it be “Hold”? it doesn’t matter anyway. Bill Peters decides all the major headlines. Maybe this intriguing subhead: “Local Reporter’s Pink Bike Snatched in Broad Daylight.” He sighs and heads to the breakroom where he encounters the predictably scorched and tepid remains of what had never been Grade-A coffee to begin with.

Brock reaches his stepfather’s place around nine-thirty, after posting his writeup, such as it is. He’s relieved to see the light on, as Jerry usually crashes in front of the tube around nine, and he still feels awkward about coming in after that. He only managed to grab a slice of pizza for dinner. He’s glad Peters left the newsroom around six, and he hopes the editor took note that he was still hard at it, not that the paper covered overtime. He feels confident the Pulitzer folks will not be calling soon on Brock L. Leonard.

“You’re late,” Jerry says with a tone of reprimand similar to what Lieutenant MacGregor used on Archie that morning.

“Sorry. Had to work late—covered that bank robbery at the ONB. You hear about it?”

“You should call if you’re going to miss dinner.” Accusation. Reprimand duly noted.

Dinner? In the seven weeks he’s been in Bloomington, Brock cannot recall his stepfather fixing anything approximating an evening meal on more than three or four occasions. Supper had assumed from the outset an ad hoc nature, casual dining at its most indifferent. Or was it indifferent dining at its most casual? His contributions largely came in the form of spaghetti and a runner’s chili his mother loved and that his stepfather spurned, but grudgingly and carpingly ate, complaining about the lack of meat.

Their exchange that evening of the bank robbery doesn’t qualify as “heated,” but Jerry Bates trespasses on sacred terrain when he suggests that something about Brock’s behavior (he cannot recall what) is “just . . .  like . . . your . . . mother.” Brock decides to look for an apartment as soon as he can, maybe sublet for the rest of the summer. Maybe he should hold off applying to the journalism master’s at IU for another year if he decides to follow through on it at all.

Early the next morning (he is eager to be first one there) Brock misses the convenience of the pink bicycle as he trudges the twenty-odd blocks to the Times-Courier office, where he finds a heavily redacted copy of his report on the bank robbery, clearly the work of Bill Peters. He tries to throw only a casual glance at the thing, but he cannot. Bill’s alterations appear capricious, and most of them dilute his meticulous word choices. Fastidious? Fussy? “Don’t go getting poetic on us,” Peters warned, And voice. What has become of his voice in the piece? Any vestige of his individual expression, any vague hint at a Hemingway moment, has been smothered in a blanket of bland denotation. Bill Peters isn’t on site and the account has already gone to press. But after all, the piece isn’t a feature, is it? Just straight reportage, strict facticity—no room for sly qualifiers or verbs with verve. He knows that, but still.

When he picks up the edition, which lies just under his edited text, the front-page headline reads about the way he supposed it would: “IU Grad Student Implicated in Cello Caper.” Of course. There’s been a massacre in Srebrenica, Bosnia, and President Clinton is moving to restore relations with Vietnam twenty years after the war, but the local headline captures its share of page one, as is usually the case when something supposedly newsworthy occurs in town. His piece appears in Section C, following Sports, as News of Local Interest: “No Suspects in Holdup of Old National Bank.” So bland. His byline reads “Brock Lee Leonard.”

How has anyone discovered the hidden identity of L? Jeff, the sportswriter, is only the first to greet him as “Broccoli!”

“Brock Lee? Broc-col-li?” Amy teases when she comes in at eight.

“Brock,” Bill Peters says when he shows up at nine, “they’ve got something for you at headquarters. Lieutenant MacGregor called, said to get right over.” Brock appreciates editor’s avoidance of what he assumes will soon become nearly universal enthusiasm for punning on his moniker. Why the grin, he wonders.

He suspects what it’s about before he arrives at the police station.

Half a dozen officers, including Lieutenant MacGregor and Detective Arcidiacono, are assembled on the steps when Brock approaches, and the centerpiece is comprised of two pink bicycles, his own (Meg’s) gender-ambiguous bike and another, also pink, although a shade brighter, which is clearly a girl’s bike. As he comes up to Mac and Archie, the officers burst into applause, surprisingly not jeers but genuine cheers.

They’d kept an eye out for his bicycle after their interview the afternoon of the bank robbery, when he reluctantly reported the theft, although to be frank about it, Archie confesses, they were thinking what a joke it would be to discover the thing in some kid’s front yard, and then maybe call the Times-Courier with the news flash—big break in the stolen pink bike caper.

What happened though was that about two that morning, they got a noise complaint at an apartment complex on the west side of town, and the responding officer spotted two pink bicycles lying outside the apartment in question. Feeling suspicious, she put in a call for backup, and they stumbled onto the bank robbers, not brothers, but a brother-and-sister team. Both the pink bikes had been stolen. The brother was nineteen and had a long record of petty crimes and misdemeanors, small burglaries some drug violations, and he’d lost his driving privileges twice over, to the point that he didn’t dare push his luck with auto theft. Thus, his theft of Brock’s pink bicycle because, yes, he had been so brazen (or so dumb) as to have returned (stereotypically) to the scene of the crime within less than an hour.

The kid saw the reporter leave his bike in the alley and thought it would be, as he explained to the arresting officers, “cool” to snatch the “dude’s wheels.” The kid’s sister, aged sixteen and pathetic, swiped her pink “velocipede” (as Brock would call it in his writeup) the previous week from a family she’d done some babysitting for. She felt they’d underpaid her, so taking “their precious daughter’s Hello Kitty bike” seemed like poetic justice to her, although she did not use that phrase. To her, it was simply justice. Brock imposed “poetic justice” on the event. Peters deleted both “velocipede” and “poetic justice.”

As it happened, the silver SUV spotted up the street from the ONB was not involved in the getaway. The pair had simply slipped up an alley, chucked their hoodies in a dumpster, and walked away. No firearms turned up at the apartment, only a deadbeat stepfather in a drunken stupor who had not even awakened when his “damn stepkids” got into a shouting match over returning the stolen money, which came to only a few hundred dollars. They had been too scared to wait for anyone but the single teller to empty her till, and apparently the bundles of ones, fives, tens, and twenties looked like a windfall to them. The title of a story out of James Joyce’s Dubliners came to Brock: “A Painful Case.”

A police photographer snapped the image of the bikes that appeared on the front page of the next edition of the Times-Courier under the byline, Brock L. Leonard. The bank heist led to a swift trial that ended with the brother headed for the minimum-security prison at Edinburgh and the sister taken to juvie. Brock did not stay for the trial or the fall term at IU but returned to Spokane and his job with the Chronicle, leaving his sister’s pink bike with his stepfather, who concluded that his stepson was just like his mother, a colossal ingrate.

Born in Ohio and raised in Florida, Ron McFarland lives and writes from Moscow, Idaho, but when he was in grad school at the University of Illinois, he occasionally forayed into the Hoosier state where he once jumped into the Wabash after a jumbo carp that got away. But at least he didn’t feel obliged to clean and eat it.